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The Spirit of God

(Google Translator available below)
("Google translation deemed reliable but not guaranteed.")

September 7, 2017! I have been filled with the Holy Spirit since September 7, 1969! So I celebrate 48 years of intimate companionship with the One who sticks closer than a brother, the Holy Ghost who came to fellowship with each one of us, at and from the time of Pentecost (Acts 2) (you can change to another English version or to another language if you want). I am celebrating by providing these musical video links of "Days of Elijah" to entice you to receive the Holy Spirit into your life or to celebrate Him with me!

The Holy Spirit can do more in 5 minutes than 100 preachers in a year! So I'll let the Holy Spirit take over!

There's no God like Jehovah! ("Days of Elijah" by various artists; words below)
Judy Jacobs in concert
Judy Jacobs on TBN
Judy Jacobs (sing-along words)
Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir (worship happens!)
Still photos match the words
Youth and things passed around the Internet version
Twila Paris (film clips!)
Acoustic version (language is goose bumps)
Guitar chords with words

This morning (August 28, 2011) I had a dream. Up until now I had not planned to have a page to honor the Holy Spirit (the Spirit of God). The reason was this is an evangelistic site to be used by anyone. Some people who share the Gospel with others (this is exemplary) have strong leanings one way or the other about subjects such as baptism, spiritual gifts, and the Holy Spirit, all of which are dealt with in scripture. How scripture deals with them is understood through the lens (cultural and philosophical and religious glasses) one grew up with. However, if the Lord wants me to have this page, I trust the page is simple enough not to be divisive while being helpful to you to live according to the law of the Spirit which the Apostle Paul speaks about in Romans 8 and Galatians 3. This is a long page. I have written it so you can realize that God can come to you right where you are. You may be in a restricted area... unable to go to where Christians are for help. You may have experienced controversy or have heard conflicting claims about how to understand the Spirit of God. You will see that you and God in relationship with each other can settle being filled with the Holy Spirit. If God needs a person to help you as Jack helped me, maybe I'm that person. If Jack had lived in another century, he could have helped me by my reading something he wrote. If what I write is coming to you on the Internet, that's a wonderful way to receive the Holy Spirit. You don't have to be in a Christian church or a particular Christian church to receive God's presence. If what is below doesn't make sense to you, keep looking! The Holy Spirit is there whether I have described it in a way you can understand at this moment or not! And remember to constantly be filled and refilled moment by moment. He's never going to leave you or foresake you but as you get thirsty, help yourself to more of his presence!

After I said, "OK God, you're right; hide not your face from me (Psalms 27:9)" on April 11th, 1968 at 5:20 p.m. (which according to what had gone on before between God and I was enough to establish for the first time and forever a relationship with him through Jesus Christ) my life completely changed. Some details are on My_Story on the Beth page or on the Montana page of My Story USA or on Stories on Law Enforcement (not a duplicate!)

In February of 1969 when I was putting down my physics textbook and picking up my chemistry textbook the Lord spoke to me in a way I never anticipated. He said, "You will be like David Wilkerson." David Wilkerson died at age 79 in 2011 so I should be able to relate in hindsight what God meant by that. World Magazine in its May 21, 2011 issue on page 12 quotes John McCandlish Phillips, a former New York Times reporter who knew David Wilkerson for 53 years described David as "an absolute model of simplicity, directness, and total non-sophistication - he just went out on the streets and mixed with kids and reasoned with them face-to-face, often quoting the Bible - and it worked." Also, although David Wilkerson consistently rejected that he was a prophet, I would say that as he followed the leading of the Holy Spirit, salvation and breakthroughs happened in lives. I would say the Lord was letting me know I would be a prophetic type and an evangelist. This was just a kernal, the simplest tip, to what my life would be like. I had just read The Cross and the Switchblade by him and like many others, was impressed that he proved the will of God by making his financial appeal cold and uninviting to make sure no one helped him go to New York City the first time because they were supportive of him in general. He received enough money and went. While there, he slept in his car which quickly was remedied when local Christians took him in saying it was not safe." You can read more about David Wilkerson by going to Google.com and typing "David Wilkerson" in the search bar.

I very much wanted to be an engineer. The Lord gave me three commands, all three of which I explained to him were not possible. My sophomore year was difficult in that psychologically I was divided. I would go to class and suddenly look up and the blackboard would be filled with equations. I quickly copied it all down to study later. I couldn't concentrate as before. Now I would say the anointing to be a student in engineering had lifted. This just means God no longer helped me out as he did before. As his child, I was being disciplined because he loved me and wanted the best for me. I had said to God, "If you want me to leave the University of Michigan, make a big thunderstorm at 5 p.m. If you want me to go to a Christian college, make a big thunderstorm at 6 p.m. And if something I don't anticipate happens, I'll go see the evangelist. I am being honest with you about this. God had already made clear what he wanted me to do. I just didn't want to do it. I thought I'd test God and see if he really meant it. I'd give him a way out if he changed his mind. What happened was this: there were thunderstorms all day but there were absolutely clear blue skies and full sunlight between 4:50 p.m. and 5:10 p.m. and again between 5:50 p.m. and 6:10 p.m.! I went to see the evangelist who was on the radio and had a Christian bookstore. I just couldn't tell him exactly what had happened. I was too humiliated. But I did talk with him.

One reason people are attracted to cults is that they are very sure of themselves and present to you strongly how they see things. I had walked up to 10 miles one-way to as many churches as I could to find out why I no longer was experiencing the forgiveness God had so freely given to me. The group that seemed to know what was going on was the Ecumenical Institute. I went that summer to live in West Chicago at their headquarters. We got up at 4:30 a.m. daily. We slept in a room full of bunk beds and had one bathroom for all the women and the men had to use it to shower. There was just no place for privacy. I mandated there must be 4 people in the bathroom at all times. The 4th was ready to use any vacated place. It worked after the initial gasps. We would worship at 5 a.m. and then at 6 a.m. we would have breakfast. I recognized right away something was wrong but I didn't know what.

They taught that Jesus was just a man and dead. We are the second coming. They used brainwashing techniques such as 3 hours of sleep alternating with 3 hours of class. They paired me with a person most likely to convert me, a one-time Southern Baptist pastor. During this time I cut my long hair off. I'm not sure why, perhaps it was desperation. I had a guitar and I would stand on the top of tables and sing, "He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today!" They actually asked me to lead worship because I was the only one really awake at 5 a.m. So there was a strong Christian witness during worship! In order to have private prayer with Jesus, there were only two places available. One was through a small door into a machine room with deafening noise. I could pour my heart out and no one cared. The other place was in the downstairs bathroom which smelled so bad no one would ever use it. One day someone came in and asked me who I was talking to. I said, "I'm talking to the walls." That satisfied them and I was again alone. I fasted 3 days to seek the Lord. No one told me to do this. I had to keep trying to figure out what was wrong. What I said above took a long time to distill from all that was said. At the end of the summer we were to draw one simple picture that would summarize the summer. I showed mine and no one knew what it was. Finally, a man said, "I know what it is. It's Jonah (Jonah 4:5) sitting outside of Nineveh waiting for God to destroy it." He knew me well. By they way, the building had bullet-proof glass and had been occupied by a labor union. One day I ran away and headed straight for Teen Challenge, always to be found in the worst area possible. I was so loved there. But the Ecumenical Institute called and I returned as I had gone, by public transportation. I knew where to go for relief! This was in Chicago where taxis would not come.

I read John 14-17 possibly thousands of times trying to understand what it was saying. The crux to me is if you obey Jesus' commands (which I wasn't), he and his father would come to me and live in me. He would send me the Comfortor, the Holy Spirit, who would teach me all things. I can only point you to this scripture as your guide to what is below.

When I was back at my parents' home, I got down on my knees for three days in a row at the coffee table in the living room and said, "OK, God, I'll do whatever you want." At one point he led me to a Catholic Church. The door was open and I went in and looked all around the sanctuary. Nothing seemed to jump out at me. I figured the Lord was saying, "I am leading." I had told my parents I was not returning to the University of Michigan (August of 1969). They were asking me, "What are you going to do???" I didn't know. My older sister said she knew someone who could get me into Eastern Baptist College (now Eastern University). I called them up and said I wanted to go to school there. They said it was too late to apply. I said, "What day does school start?" They said it started Monday. I said, "It's only Thursday!" I was told to bring my transcript and my pastor's recommendation and be there in one hour. This is how pastors spend their days and vacations. They respond to unplanned sudden needs. I got there. Someone had come from the University of Michigan the previous year, gotten all A's and gone back. So I had been on the Dean's List there so they accepted me. I was asked what my major was. I looked at the course book and checked off each course that looked interesting. I tallied them and it seemed I would be a religion major. I didn't know at the time that there were only 3 students studying religion and that it put you into a special status (if you know what I mean). I moved in Saturday afternoon to the womens' dorm. Sunday evening there was an on-campus worship service and I went to it. There were about 15 people there. It was very quiet and I just sat still. After it was over a young man, another student, came to talk to me. He said, "How did you like the service?" I am a little more diplomatic now but I responded, "It stunk and I'm never coming back." I hate to tell you who led that service. He is nationally known now. The young man, Jack, and I went outside by one of the three duck ponds. He asked me if I had heard of Abraham. I said no. He asked me if I had heard of prophecy, I said no. He said, "Oh, I just felt it." Then he proceeded to speak to me and I knew it was God. Up until now I had wondered if I was following God or had I just pushed my way into Eastern? He never once laid hands on me. He never once told me about the Holy Spirit. But I knew it was God speaking. These are as many of the words he spoke that I could remember right after when I rushed back to the dorm to write it down. I just checked in Google.com for September 1969 and it was September 7th, 1969 when Jack and I spoke.

Your ministry is great.
Never be discouraged.
Strange things will happen that don't seem to be of God; You can't understand.
Don't stop. Never stop.
Keep right on going.
You never have to stop.
Or sin-you never have to sin again.
If people reject you:
For every one who rejects you, 100 will listen.
This is the confirmation of your ministry.
There is much to be revealed, but only as you can understand.
Pray without ceasing.
Never ever turn back.
Be always of perfect peace.
Don't worry if you don't witness tomorrow.
Prepare, learn.
If it's a choice between God and man, (he leaned over face to face with me and I had the rightful fear of God)
Obey God!
You will be rewarded 100 fold in this life.
Do not lean on your own understanding.
Don't depend on me (Jack) - though God has anointed me to minister to you.
Come whenever you feel the Holy Spirit leading. (I never did)
Remember Job.
His friends told him that God had condemned him,
but God has told you different.
Remember to love.
Pray without ceasing.
Never feel guilty that you have wronged God or man.
God forgives you now and forgets all.
You can remember but he can't.
The devil will come and call things to mind.
But don't feel guilty.
Don't ever be discouraged.
Don't EVER be discouraged.
Keep on going no matter what.
I (Jack) can feel your witness.
Don't lose it.
I'm not sure what I'm saying.
It's from God.
Whatever I say tonight, don't forget it.
Don't forget it.
Tempation may come to you.
For every victory there will be two tempations.
My experience - awful for two weeks.
You must remember the Beatitudes.
Man can have troubles and live in perfect peace.
Don't quench the Holy Spirit.
A lot of things can happen to you.
Pray without ceasing.
Don't ever let one person stop you.
You'll be real messed up later if you don't follow God's lead.
Remember to love.
(The End)

What happened after this? Nothing I ever could have expected. I won't tell you all in case you almost fell asleep reading this far. But you will understand generally how life progressed.

Although I felt nothing that evening, the next day I woke up so full of the presence of God that I thought my heart would burst! I began dancing. I danced for two years! People would put their hands on my shoulders and try and hold me down to get me to stop but as soon as they removed them I would be dancing again. If you can't imagine such a thing, imagine Irish dancers who dance in place without moving their upper torso and without moving around the stage. The only time I didn't dance was when I was sitting or sleeping. This 8+ minute video may help you understand how I felt to be truly free! If you don't have that much time, move the time scale to the right to 6:30 minutes. The little girl makes the definitive statement at 7:15 minutes. (I want to make clear that Jesus Christ came into my life about 17 months before this. The Holy Spirit must have been in my life. What was not in my life was the complete freedom of unrestricted obedience which brought unrestricted filling. Just as a fire unattended can go out, so our relationship with God and being filled can wane. Giving attention ato Jesus as our source (our first love, Revelation 2:4) can reignite our being filled. I still dance and danced for many years in worship seen by many. I myself barely understand how I can dance the way I do. I know I cannot do it without God preceding me moment by moment. One time, I leapt in the air at the beginning of worship before the worship team began playing. It turned out the first beat was a "rest," and it turned out I was in the air for the first sound. I could not possibly have known that. Jesus said the Lord is looking for those who worship God in spirit and in truth (reality (John 4:24). No one really wants to worship God by dull rote without the heart being stirred. No worship leader wants to lead dull unanointed worship. I was told by one worship leader who I knew well over time, "When I see you dance, I know everything is all right!" I don't say you must dance but it is what David did. Pulling out all the stops is called "Davidic Worship." David didn't dream it up. It's what happened when he interacted with God. He replaced Saul as king at age 30 (2 Samuel 5:4) and at 37 moved to Jerusalem (2 Samuel 5:5). He brought the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem with two mishaps. 2 Samuel 6:5-6 After everyone passionately worshipped, David was offended that when Uzzah tried to help God move the Ark safely when the the oxen pulling it stumbled. You may understand better when you remember what Indiana Jones shouted when the NAZIs were opening the Ark of the Covenant: "Don't look!" David had been close to God but suddenly it appeared dangerous and he was now afraid of God. So David parked the Ark at Obed-edom's house and scrapped the plan of taking the Ark to Jerusalem. Only later when David found out how much God was blessing Obed-edom that David decided to complete the move. This time after 6 paces, David stopped and sacrificed. As opposed to disregarding the holiness of God, David was now honoring the holiness of God. David danced with all his might (2 Samuel 6:14). This time the offense came to his wife who was totally upset that he had lost his dignity in front of everyone. It seems he tossed his kingly robes and danced around without shame. If all he had on was a linen ephod [a priest's upper garment], perhaps he was like Adam in the Garden without shame. David knew God and worshipped him, then became afraid of his holiness at Uzzah's death, and then again became unafraid when he saw God's goodness to Obed-edom. David's wife was totally upset that he had acted like a commoner. Michal was a daughter of Saul from whom the kingdom had been taken in favor of David. David said, and there is a song that expresses exactly this, "I will become even more undignified than this" in pure enjoyment before the Lord. (2 Samuel 6:21-22). It's what happened when David was so filled with God.
Matt Redmond, still photo
David Crowder, still photo
Dayspring Fellowship worship
Lyrics and guitar chords
the scripture spoken
danced
different song prophetically danced

I've been to Michal-like places of worship where they stop you from dancing. Once I was told it bothered new people; don't do it. I went ahead and danced but behind a display where people couldn't see me. What happened was the opposite. One by one individuals began to dance in the back with me. It wasn't upsetting them; it was delighting them. I first saw dancing in church by one man at a small congregation in Jerusalem in 1985. I told God, "I could NEVER do that!" But in 1989 all that changed. God showed me in 1995 in a particular instance that from me, not becoming fully involved in worship was like putting a one dollar bill into the offering plate. It seems he heard David say, "I can't give to the Lord that which cost me nothing (2 Samuel 24:24)." I know this is a big pause in the presentation, but just after I "got saved," when I viewed everthing newly as God's creation, and had to smell a peach and thank him for it many times before eating it, he showed me in a dream the round earth. People all over the world were jumping up and down praising him, so much so that the orbit of the earth changed slightly. (End of the dream) The orbit of the earth changed slightly in the March 2011 earthquake in Japan. The orbit of the earth will change one day because of our praise. I don't know when but perhaps as you read this, you will be one of those persons I saw in April of 1968 who will be jumping up and down praising God when this happens. And who knows, if global warming is true, our praise may make a crucial change in the earth's orbit that will cool us just the correct amount. The teaching is, as you are being filled, be filled. It's a constant process interrupted by our wrongdoing followed by our fellowship with God and with others being broken. It can be restored by admission of wrong and asking forgiveness. Bill Bright calls is spiritual breathing. You exhale wrong and inhale forgiveness. If you sin, yes, Jesus died for that. It's a very big deal. Confess and ask forgiveness and fellowship will be restored. Then it is "no biggie" after fellowship has been restored. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins (I John 1:9).

Back to my story: On a campus of 600 with 200 in residence it took about 15 minutes to become the laughingstock of Eastern Baptist College. I was accepted Thursday, moved in Saturday afternoon, went to the service Sunday evening, talked with Jack who ministered to me the confirmation of my call, Monday morning I woke up my heart and body bursting with joy to the point I didn't think I could live. No one could relate to me. I told God I needed at least one friend. I had just come back on campus from the train station when a young man opened his second story window and said, "Heh you! Stand still!" He jumped out of his window and walked toward me holding his hand out. He said, "Hi, my name is Bill." So there was someone else on campus who was like me (in the Spirit of God). We talked for hours often. It was unfair but I could study less than most students and get good grades. Once Bill was rolling on the ground laughing. I asked him what was going on. When he could get control, he told me he asked the Lord why I was so smart. The answer guides me today: "So you can love better."

One thing happened to me that I thought was God's joke on me. I was in the mailroom at noon and it was very busy. I was standing on a wooden stool reaching my hands as high as I could to try to turn the combination lock to open my mailbox. Suddenly, my body gave way under me and I was down on the floor lying on the floor stretched out on my back. Several people said, "Shall I call an ambulance?" I said, "No, I'm OK." I knew it was God. I knew what it felt like to be Jesus on the Cross in pain but without distress. This was perhaps October of 1969. Years later I recognized this was what was later called being "slain in the Spirit." Whatever God did with me, he did it sovereignly, without anyone teaching me anything or approving or even recognizing what happened. And in public. I went back to Eastern in January of 2007 while back east for my mother's funeral and it was the first time since graduating in 1972 . The stool is still there although there are fewer mailboxes and they are easier to access. I could hardly believe how many times the janitor must have moved that stool to sweep and how many times it had gotten cleaned to still be there 38 years later! It is a physical reminder to me of what happened that day. Maybe Jesus was saying, "I could take it and so can you and I'm going to show you how right now."

At breakfast one morning in the side cafeteria I wrote a poem about how I felt. I wrote it on a styrofoam cup. I now have it on my coffee cup I drink out of daily. I made at a pottery place:

Eternity!
Never-ending Spirit-filled
Even after millions of years
Not a dent in the duration.
Pow!
And it starts
Now!

I had a vision (Joel 2:29) (like a dream but you are awake and your eyes may or may not be closed). As I reflected on this vision in 2011 I realized it was so much deeper than I have always understood. I saw souls floating in waves of the presence of God. His being was portrayed to me as a fine gold mesh in which the waves moved and were seeming to shimmer back and forth from gold to black and black to gold. After this vision, time completely slowed down for me. A weekend seemed to be like two weeks. I remember being on my knees when my grades were down asking God was I trying to do too much? Someone knocked on my door and entered and asked me if I wanted to take over her choirleader job at a church the next year. I asked her, "Did you know anything before you started?" "No." "Were you scared?" "Yes." "I'll take it." I made the choice to get an A+ on every test and paper the rest of the semester. With God's help and intense concentration, I did get all A's. So I remained a religion major without difficulty after this. The other half of the dream was what I call "Flipside." There was a cave that slanted downward into the ground. The exit from the cave was covered with wide possibly leather bands that were braided as on a lawnchair but with openings through which people pushed their arms trying to get help and to get out. I knew this was hell.

In the 2000's black in my dreams means evangelism or conversion. I realized the souls in the presence of God were purified like gold through coming to him through a fine mesh, or the narrow gate of salvation. The waves of his presence never stopped. I realized the cave with the large braided straps keeping people in was the wide gate which leads to destruction. After seeing this, I knew if I did not witness to people, this could be their fate, not that I am the only witness or their fate depends solely on me. But I knew I had to share Christ with others no matter what. I knew that intellectually but now I new it in every cell of my body, mind, and soul. Sharing Christ is now in my DNA. It's part of who I am. I also see today in the fine mesh that Christians have fellowship with one another. Christians can be instantly close even if they have just met. They have so much in common. At the wide gate of the cave each individual was trying to get out. None paid any attention to any other.

At Eastern people made fun of Campus Crusade for Christ and the Four Spiritual Laws. Back then (1970) the Four Spiritual Laws was probably new. I decided since it was mocked, it must be good. So I went with Campus Crusade to Bermuda over Easter vacation (now called Spring Break) the first time they went. It was easy and enjoyable. We took a spiritual survey about what people thought of Jesus and we asked them if they wanted to know how to have a personal relationship with him. If they wanted us to, we went through the Four Spiritual Laws with them and many came to Christ through the week the entire group was there. I stayed at a pastor's home. Potable water in Bermuda comes from rain runoff from the rooves of buildings (houses) into barrels. Water was precious! The church had a full baptismal pool so they searched the island for baptismal candidates and asked me if I had been baptized. I said no. So I was baptized in Bermuda! I also got to give my testimony. The Campus Crusade person afterwards said, "Sterling!" I worked with him often after that on the University of Pennsylvania campus. I saw him stop and lead a gas jockey to Christ while we waited in the car while fueling. He taught me to reach out often.

I do want to say that Eastern had many problems while I was there. A professor taught on reincarnation, not as a subject, but as the truth. I raided my hand and asked him, "What does the Bible mean when it says it is appointed unto man once to die and then the judgment?" (Hebrews 9:27) He never called on me again. We had a ghost of some child on campus. People conducted seances. People thought nothing of playing with ouiji boards. One woman told me she played with a ouiji board until she asked who was answering. The answer was natas which is backwards for satan. She stopped. We had professors who had signed that they were true Christians and they taught things contrary to the Bible. I spoke with an obvious leader urging him to speak out. He said no one would listen to him. I said, "Speak to them again!" It was amazing that good and evil abounded there. I asked one man, "Are you saved or not?" after hearing him ramble on and on about pantheistic spirits. He responded "saved, shmaved." He later met God in the middle of the night at an all night binge party in the lobby when God sovereignly moved. I can hardly believe God would require me to take a stand and speak out so early in my Christian walk, but I think I he actually meant me to be an agent of change there. It was not better when I left but I was told by someone in the know that that terrible period was short-lived. Eastern is a wonderful place now and like my seminary (see below) has many campuses. I compliment Dr. Black, the President periodically. Dr. Duffet has taken over and he is doing a great job!

When I graduated from Eastern (1972), a Baptist Institution (name change), I wore my cap and gown as I pumped gas into my VW Bug. I was so happy that I had obeyed God and done what he said. I was now about to fly from Boston to Amsterdam with several groups from Gordon College for a 2 month trip to Europe and Israel to learn and see the roots of the Christian faith. As the plane took off from the runway in Boston, I said to myself, "If you knew everything that was going to happen this summer, you'd probably jump out of this plane even as it's already off the ground!" Don't you hate it sometimes when you are right?

What happened was I ended up smuggling Bibles into Bulgaria and Yugoslavia and handed them out also in Turkey. I purchased the Bibles in Jerusalem having just read Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand. Because Americans coming out of Istanbul in VW Vans usually means hashish, while we were not in our campsite, our vans were searched. I still had Bibles in Bulgarian. I had asked the help of my 29 co-participants to carry one Bible in each language but I cautioned that if we were caught, it wasn't going to let them off to say the Bibles were really mine. But that's what happened. So I was interrogated by the Bulgarian police. I had been a Christian for about 4 years and I knew the verse that you will be dragged before kings and rulers for my name sake (Matthew 10:18), but don't worry what you will say for the Holy Spirit will tell you in that hour (Matthew 10:19). I realized I must not lie. But I prayed that they would not ask me any question I was guilty of. They said "Bibles!" as they showed me what my crime was. I waved my hands over them, kissed my hands, and lifted my hands up and said, "The Word of God!" I couldn't have thought of that to save my soul. I knew God was in charge. I finally realized they were looking for my contacts. I told them I don't need contacts. "I serve a Living God and he knows everybody and I just run into them." They asked me where and I said I wasn't driving and I was in the back of the van and I didn't know where we were (true). They said I had insulted them saying they were not able to provide their own Bibles in Bulgaria. I said, "You offered me a cigarette. I didn't think you were saying Amercian cigarettes are awful or that I am too poor to buy my own cigarettes. I thought you were being polite and putting me at ease. The Bible is our most highly prized possession and we like to give them out even to people who already have Bibles."

After they were done I asked them if I could ask them some questions. They said yes. I asked them could I buy Bibles from their Bible bookstores and hand them out? No. (They didn't have Bible bookstores) May I write scriptures down and hand them out? No. May I talk to people? No. May I pray for you? They all laughed and said, "We are atheists." I said, "May I pray for you knowing you are atheists?" They spoke quite a while in Bulgarian and finally came back in English and said it was OK, yes, I could pray for them knowing they are atheists. So I said, "Then this is how God is going to reach Bulgaria and I will pray for Bulgaria until Bulgaria is free!" They must have thought I was nuts. But Bulgaria IS free!

Our group leader, the late Dr. Nigel Kerr, Professor of Church History at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary where I was matriculating next, left for Romania while I was with the police. He had Romanian Bibles and was going to give all but the shirt on his back to people there. We were to meet him at some outdoor cafe in Italy some time later. We still were going to Yugoslavia. At first I thought it too dangerous to give Bibles to believers secretly in Yugoslavia as the Bulgarian police would just call ahead and tell them we were coming. But when I saw the people, I had to give them out. I sat on the steps of a statue in a big square explaining the Gospel to a young man in German. I explained it twice to make sure our German was not a hindrance to understanding. I gave him the Bible and he left. There had been a guard with a rifle pacing back and forth in front of us the whole time. When the young man had gone, suddenly the guard seemed to see me for the first time sitting on the steps. He yelled at in me saying it is unlawful to sit on the steps. I answered in English, "I'm sorry. I'm an American and we are allowed to sit on the steps in America." I left. Another student motioned to a street sweeper that he had a Bible for him. The street sweeper pointed to the intake of the sweeper. My friend dropped the Bible on the sidewalk and he swept it into the debris holder. It would be fun if it weren't so dangerous! I had one Bible left as we approached the border. I didn't realize we were so close. I tried to hand it to a guard but my teammates pushed me to the floor saying, "Beth, these are the people we are hiding from." The Bible was now in free Italy. I was beyond remorse! We hit another car and there were arguments and insurance things to document. I saw a car coming toward the border. I ran and motioned for him to roll the passenger window down. He did. I threw the Bible on the front seat. As he drove to the guards, I was filled with panic as now I got him in trouble. I prayed so hard for his safety. He got through and now all Bibles were in the right country. Was that an angel?

I had read God's Smuggler by Brother Andrew. So I knew to pray that seeing eyes be blind and blind eyes see under circumstances that seemed impossible when I first got into them. A missionary, holding a large Bible in Bulgarian, asked me to ask the restaurant owner in German how to say Jesus in Bulgarian. Inches from me were about 22 soldiers sitting at one long table with a great view of me and the Bible. Many if not most people speak German as well as their own language in Eastern Europe. They were certainly within earshot! I remembered to stay calm and just trust the Lord. I had extreme problems and had to rush to a bathroom often which is how I set up the Bible distribution in German but never actually did the distribution. They never asked about setting up the distribution in German or about the tracts which I did give out. I have a folder that I will summarize about how Bible smugglers view the legality and ethics of Bible smuggling. Personally, I would like to do everything with the OK of officials but there are times when I have to listen to God and obey him rather than man (Acts 5:29). We must take whatever earthly punishment comes from what we do but we can also trust God to help us. Peter got out of jail through an angel (Acts 12:9). I got out of Bulgaria using my own name. This made me so glad as I could come back using my own name and bring more Bibles. I have never been back.

When we drove down a street in Italy, I saw Dr. Kerr sitting at an outdoor restaurant. He did not know I got out and the team got out of Bulgaria despite a fake car accident to scare us into never coming back. We did not know he got out of Romania. You have no idea of the emotions one experiences when we see we all made it out. Consider how it must be for someone such as Brother Andrew and his wife to know so little for so long as often as he went behind the Iron Curtain. One can learn with new meaning what Paul the Apostle said. "When you come, bring my cloak...Try to come before winter." (II Timothy 4:13-21)

I went to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in the fall of 1972 and graduated in May of 1976 with a Master of Divinity degree. I decided to live off-campus the last year. I worked successively in three Salvation Army jobs in Boston and lived in Cambridge with 5 other Gordon-Conwell students who worked for the Salvation Army or Intervarsity Christian Fellowship. I say this because the 7th person came to us as laid off from Pan Am. I don't know why she asked me this but she asked me, "Is anyone else in the house Spirit-filled?" I said, "No, I don't think so." She continued, "Do you speak in tongues?" I said, "No." She said, "Would you like to?" I said, "Yes." We went to the living room and she prayed very briefly something like, "Lord, Beth would like to speak in tongues. Please help her." She asked me was there anything I was thinking that was not English. I said, "You mean, like e-shanda?" She said, "That's it!!!!" I went to work at the Salvation Army Thrift Store in Jamaica Plains. While I was by the coats I said softly, "E-shanda" over and over. Little by little a few more phrases came. About two weeks later I told her, "I don't ever say the letter b." She said, "Well, maybe your language doesn't have any b's!" Later it did. Tongues is very strange in that you have to speak just as God puts the words there. I was not taught like that. It seems backwards to me. When we drive a car, we put our foot on the accelerator pedal first and then the car moves. The car has to do what we ask. With tongues,we humbly open our mouths, sure that God will put words there as we begin to speak. He is our Master but totally attentive to our every move. Later, sitting on the rocks in the dark by the ocean near Rockport, I could relate that God created the stars I could see while he also was creating now the new words on my lips. Cool!

On this page I am speaking to people who really don't know anything. I've been to churches that have tables in front of the door and you have to read that there can be no tongues before you go in. I've been to churches that round up all the people who want to speak in tongues and take them to another room. They all come back speaking in tongues. Tongues is in the New Testament. You can't stop God. All you can say is, he hasn't given me that gift (yet) or I want that gift. Trying to say tongues was only for the early church is like a dog barking at a train going by. I've never spoken about this because I don't want any group not to use my site for evangelism because of mentioning this. But in obedience to God today, I put this online. I will not stand in the way of God! "Heir stande ich, ich kann no anders." "Here I stand, I can do no other. (Martin Luther)

I hope you see I received the Spirit of God in fullness about 1 1/4 years after being saved. I spoke in tongues about 6 1/2 years after being filled with the Holy Spirit. So I can't say if you are filled with the Holy Spirit you must speak in tongues. I also can't say if you don't speak in tongues, you can't be filled with the Holy Spirit. And I certainly can't say you aren't really saved unless you speak in tongues! (I've heard all this but nothing in my life shows any of it to be true!) You try smuggling Bibles and dealing with Communist police without being saved or filled with the Holy Spirit! To me, I think God and you will work up some unique sequence that will reflect where you are, what you want, and any impediments that exist. As someone said to me in Turkey, "God knows who he created you to be, what caused you to deviate from it, and how to get you back!" When I told God I'm just too different for you to ever use me, I opened the Bible to Psalm 119, to the word BETH, which means it's the second section of Psalm 119, and Beth is the second letter of the Hebrew alphabet. So I knew, he can use me just as I am. Unbelievable! I'm not special. That means he can use you too! He wants to use you! He's totally willing to use you and he WILL use you. Just be available.

I've pointed the way to John 14-17 and obeying Jesus in all that he asks you to do. I can't explain any better how to get there but you can get there because I knew nothing and I did. In our local Bible study sometimes newer believers feel they just can't keep up with older believers who the newer believers presume know everything. I've taught them to raise their hands and sing, "We know nothing!" It gets everyone laughing. If you want to really suprize an older believer, come close to the screen, it's a secret, closer now...don't just talk about what Jesus says, go do it! The results will boggle their minds!

God the Father (Abba), God the Son (Yeshua), God the Holy Spirit (Ru-ach ha Cha-de-shah). Trinity (not in the Bible), Elohim.

If you are Jewish, you may prefer the Hebrew page or Dear Rabbi.

One more thing. When God reveals something in a dream or vision it is never meant to uncover another person as with Noah and his sons (Genesis 9:18-29). You are not at liberty to reveal something God shows you unless God allows you to reveal it. You may just need to pray for the situation or wait until the person comes and tells you. Dreams and visions should be honored and taken seriously but are for encouragement or warning and are not for telling a fleshly future. We still live one day at a time by faith. And if you discover a person is told things by God, please realize that God chooses what and when to reveal. Do not imagine that the person will know everything you are thinking and planning. God probably wants you to talk with that person instead of somehow believing God will show him or her what you are thinking. God does show me things but it never replaces human communication. And he doesn't show me for show or joyriding. He normally has a purpose he is entrusting to me. So if a person who dreams isn't dreaming as you expect, remember, it's YOUR expectations. They might still be full of the Spirit. Talk to them! In my experience, God tells me the day after something happened. Sometimes I have to say oh well or who knew?


Last updated: 03/29/2017


Days of Elijah (Google Tranlate below!)

These are the days of Elijah
Declaring the Word of the Lord, yes
And these are the days of his servant, Moses
Righteousness being restored
And these are the days of great trial
Of famine and darkness and sword
So we are the voice in the desert crying
Prepare ye the way of the Lord

CHORUS:
Behold he comes
Riding on a cloud
Shining like the sun
At the trumpet's call
Lift your voice
It's the year of jubilee
Out of Zion 'till salvation comes

And these are the days of Ezekiel
With dry bones becoming as flesh
And these are the days of his servant, David
Building the temple of praise, yes
And these are the days of the harvest
The fields are all white in the world
And we are the laborers that are in your vineyard
declaring the word of the Lord

CHORUS 2X
Behold he comes
Riding on a cloud
Shining like the sun
At the trumpet's call
Lift your voice
It's the year of jubilee
Out of Zion 'till salvation comes

There's no God like Jehovah (x8--modulate)
There's no God like Jehovah (x8--modulate)
There's no God like Jehovah (x7)

CHORUS X2

Google Translate (96+ languages)

The Holy Spirit is our Counselor!

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